lessons learned
Lessons From Boudreaux
This backwoods boy can teach you the important things in life.

I've always loved "Boudreaux" stories. Not only because most of the tales of the Cajun folk character are right funny, but also because many of them illustrate a great lesson about life.

Lesson #1

There are usually simple answers to the mysteries of life.

Boudreaux and Pierre was walkin' through the woods one day, when he says, "Whooee, Pierre, look at dat big hole! I wonder how deep it goes." They find a rock, and trow it into da hole, listenin' to see how long it will take to hit the bottom. They don't hear anything so dey try it again with a bigger rock, but still don't hear it hit.

Boudreaux notices a railroad tie lying in the bushes, picks it up, and throws it in the hole. While they are listening for it to hit bottom, a little billy goat comes runnin' out of the bushes and jumps into the hole.

A few minutes later their friend Thibodeaux comes walking out of the bushes. He asks, "Has anyone seen my little billy goat?"

"You wanna hear somethin' strange?" said Boudreaux. "A little billy goat came runnin' out of them bushes and jumped right into dat deep hole right dere."

"That couldn't have been my billy goat," said Thibodeaux. "My billy goat was tied to a railroad tie back in dose bushes."

You can't always tell the level of intelligence of another person by how they talk, how they dress, or how far they've gone in school.

Boudreaux's first military assignment was advisin' new recruits about their government issue (GI) insurance. Before long, the captain began noticin' dat Boudreaux was getting a 99% sign-up for the top insurance. This was odd, because it would cost these poor inductees nearly $30 a month extra. So he decides to sit in on the next session to observe Boudreaux's sales pitch.

"If you have da normal GI insurance and go to Iraq and get killed," said Boudreaux to the recruits, "da government pays your beneficiary $6,000. If you take out de supplemental insurance, which cost you only $30 a month, the government has to pay your beneficiary $200,000.

"Now," he concluded, "which bunch do you tink dey gonna send to Iraq first?"

Lesson #3

You can't believe everything you hear. (This adage has become even more apropos with the advent of the Internet and e-mail, together a veritable breeding ground for erroneous tales.)

Boudreaux been fish'n down da bayou all day, when he seen a big snake wif a frog in his mouf. He knowed them big bass like dem frogs, so he decided he is gonna steal it from the snake. Dat snake be a cotton mouf water moccasin, so he had to be real careful not to get bit.

He snuk up behin' dat snake and grabbed him roun da head. Now Boudreaux knows dat he cain't let go dat snake or he's gonna bite him. But he had a plan. He takes a pint of moonshine likker out of his bib overalls and pours some in da snake's mouf. The snake kinder rolls his eyeballs, and lets loose of the frog. Then Boudreaux toss dat snake into da bayou.

He goes back to fishin', and a while later he feels somepin' tappin' on his barefoot toes. He look down and dere wuz dat water moccasin ... wit' two more frogs.

JACK RUNNINGER, OUR CONSULTING EDITOR, LIVES IN ROME, GA. HE'S ALSO A PAST EDITOR OF OM. CONTACT HIM AT RUNNINGERJ@COMCAST.NET