lessons learned

Viva La Difference!

Adapting to the opposite sex can be aided by humor and exaggeration.

JACK RUNNINGER, O.D.

"Why did you just buy $90 worth of cosmetics after we had agreed to economize?" asked the husband.

"I bought them to make myself beautiful for you," his wife tearfully explained. "Besides, you just bought a case of beer. Why did you do that?"

"Same reason," he unthinkingly replied.

The tendency of males to put their mouths in gear ahead of their brains, is just one of the differences between men and women. With the influx of females into the optometric profession, it behooves all of us, male and female, to better understand these differences so that we can better work together.

In my opinion adapting to these differences can be aided by observing them with humor, and even exaggeration.

The cereal box

Women think of men as being slovenly. What they don't realize is that males are more concerned with efficiency than neatness. As a widower, I lived alone and thus was King of the Castle for the first time in my life. However, when I remarried, as you might expect, the king was forced to abdicate.

I explained to New Bride that the reason I kept the cereal box on the table, instead of in the cupboard, was the time saving factor. According to my calculations, it takes about 30 seconds to return said cereal box to the cupboard following breakfast, and another 30 seconds to return it to the table the next day. If my addition is correct that is a savings of one minute per day.

Therefore, over the three years I lived alone, and could thus institute this policy, I figure I saved more than 1,000 minutes (17 hours) of my valuable productive time. However, you are probably not surprised to learn that New Bride was not impressed with this computation, and the cereal box again resides in the cupboard.

Cleanliness

"The primary difference between men and women," says humorist Dave Barry, "is that women can see extremely small quantities of dirt, even at the molecule level. Men don't notice it until it forms clumps large enough to support agriculture."

You would think the above attribute would cause females to shun the idea of plant life in the office or home. Such is not the case, as you well know. I figure if the Lord had wanted plant life indoors, he would have placed it there rather than in the outdoors. But men find themselves with less and less space, as women continually install more and more plant life that takes over more and more of their indoor space.

Self image

Women are bothered more about their appearance than are men. Typically a woman five foot six inches tall, 120 pounds, with a gorgeous figure, is probably concerned that she may be too fat. On the other hand a man, even if he has a beer gut that protrudes over his belt, and eight strands of greasy hair that he swirls around his bald head, is convinced he is great looking and irresistible to women.

In defense of the male sex, we really are not as lacking in sensitivity and awareness as women accuse us of being.

"What is your wife's favorite flower?" the TV announcer asked a contestant.

"I'm pretty sure it's Pillsbury's," was his thoughtful response. OM