lessons learned

Expect the Unexpected. . .

. . . such as a worthless Stradivarius or a million dollar picture.

JACK RUNNINGER, O.D.

“Would you like to go fishing?” the American host asked an English guest.

“No,” the guest replied. “I tried it once and didn’t like it.”

“How about some tennis?”

“No. Tried it once and didn’t like it.”

“A round of golf?”

Again — “Tried it once, didn’t like it.. I think I’ll just wait here on the porch for my son.”

“An only child, I presume,” was the host’s unexpected and clever rejoinder.

And funny too

The only thing you can successfully predict in your practice and in your daily living is that many responses you receive are going to be unpredictable — which makes communicating with patients and others more difficult. But it’s these unanticipated remarks that make your practice and the world more interesting, and entertaining. And funny! For example:

Some folks are naturally talented at giving surprising, but clever comments or responses. One of them was Rodney Dangerfield:

▸ “A girl phoned me and told me to hurry over to her house because no one was home,” he once said. “So I hurried right over. And sure enough, no one was home.” And:

▸ “Last night my wife met me at the front door wearing a negligee. Only problem was, she was coming home,” was another of his surprise remarks.

Reagan and Churchill

▸ Ronald Reagan was another. He was expert at destroying an insult with an unexpected but humorous comment. When the hue and cry was that he was too old to seek reelection, he responded:

ILLUSTRATION BY AMY WUMMER

“They say I’m too old to run for reelection. That’s ridiculous. I plan to run, and run hard in every one of our thirteen colonies.”

▸ Winston Churchill was a master at making clever unexpected remarks. “I have never developed indigestion from eating my own words,” he once said. Another example: “I am prepared to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.”

Good and bad news

The “good news, bad news” jokes are also examples of unforeseen surprising answers. Such as, a lady discovered in her attic an old painting and an old violin. To find out if they were valuable, she took them to an antiques dealer.

“I have good news and bad news for you,” he told her. “The good news is that you have here an original Rembrandt, and a genuine Stradivarius.”

“That has to be worth millions!” she gushed. “Whatever could be bad news after that?”

“Well,” said the dealer, “The problem is, it’s the violin that’s a Rembrandt, and the painting that’s a Stradivarius.”

▸ And my favorite “good news, bad news” story:

I have good and bad news for you,” phoned the man’s attorney. “The good news is your wife has found a picture worth a million dollars.”

“That’s wonderful,” said the man. “What could possibly be the bad news about that?”

“The picture is of you and your receptionist at a motel.” OM

JACK RUNNINGER, OUR CONSULTING EDITOR, LIVES IN ROME, GA. HE’S ALSO A PAST EDITOR OF OM. CONTACT HIM AT RUNNINGERJ@COMCAST.NET.