50^th ANNIVERSARY: Lessons Learned

LESSONS TO LIVE BY

Jack Runninger, O.D.,
Editor 1981-1989
Columnist 1994-2015

MOST READERS know Jack Runninger, O.D., for the humor in his “Lessons Learned” column, which has run for decades in Optometric Management until his retirement in June. (“Lessons” columns are available at optometric.com.) Jack also served as editor of OM from 1981 until 1989, providing leadership that shaped the publication. One of the best descriptions of his contributions as a columnist was written by Irving Bennett, O.D., in the preface of Jack’s book, a compilation of his columns, You’ll Do Great If You Communicate: Jack put “into words the common sense that is so uncommon.” The following are examples of Jack’s timeless wit and wisdom.

THE GUACAMOLE TEST?

• A patient had trouble remembering the word “glaucoma.”

“Do you test for guacamole?” he asked me.

• “That was the worst program I ever heard,” someone told the speaker when he’d finished his presentation.

“Don’t pay any attention,” apologized the program chair. “He’s not too bright. All he does is repeat what everyone else says.”

• “Runninger, I can’t wear these contact lenses when we play golf,” a patient and golf buddy told me. “My eyes tear up so bad that I can’t see the ball.”

“Nonsense,” I said. “Gil Morgan is a champion golfer on the PGA tour, and he wears contact lenses.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t fit his,” was his wise-guy reply.

• “I don’t know why you have so much trouble understanding French,” a friend once told me. “It’s obviously an easy language to learn. I noticed that even two-year-olds over there can speak it.”

Jack’s columns often demonstrated the humorous side of the encounters between doctor and patient.

• “When is your birthday?” an optometrist asked a first grader.

“July 8,” replied the child.

“What year?”

“Every year!” said the youngster.

• A patient told me the story of an optometrist visiting a terminally ill patient in the hospital.

“Before I die, there’s one thing I have to know. Which really was better, number one or number two?”

DISTINGUISHED CONTRIBUTIONS

Jack’s columns also shared the humorous anecdotes colleagues sent to him. For example:

• “I don’t want those progressive lenses this time,” a patient told Dr. Mike Silverman, Coral Springs, Fla. “Whenever I tilt my head back to drink my beer while I’m driving, I can’t see the road clearly through the bottom part of the lens.”

• While instructing a patient on the necessity of lid scrubs, Billy D. Webb, O.D., Russelville, Ky., noticed that the gentleman wasn’t paying attention. Thus, he was certain he would probably not follow through.

So he went out to the reception area and asked the man’s wife to come back to the exam room. He demonstrated again how she could help him do the lid scrubs. “Do you have any questions?” he asked.

“Just one,” replied the lady. “Who is he?” (The O.D. had summoned the wrong wife.).

• Dr. Len Press wrote, “I had a patient tell me, ‘One of the doctors said I might have immaculate edema.’”

• “Have I made myself clear?” asked one optometrist after he explained the patient’s problem to her.

“No,” the patient replied, as she squinted. “You’re just as blurry as when I first came in.”

• Dr. Jerry Park tells of a time he was concerned about whether patients were waiting too long. So he asked a lady, “What’s your usual wait when you come to our office?”

“About 150 pounds,” she replied.

A LESSON FOR ALL

Throughout the hundreds of columns he wrote for OM, Jack was never afraid to turn his sharp wit on himself. In fact, that might be one of his most important lessons, as he wrote in the May 2008 issue of OM:

Keeping your sense of humor and learning to laugh at yourself is important in all aspects of life, including the practice of optometry. You’ll find a whole lot less stress when you learn to look for the humorous side of your problems. OM