MY INAPPROPRIATE IS DIFFERENT FROM YOUR INAPPROPRIATE

WEBSTER’S DEFINES “inappropriate” as “not appropriate” or “unsuitable.” The word is synonymous with graceless, improper, inapt and infelicitous. However, to truly understand “inappropriate” we must also define appropriate as “suitable” or “acceptable under the circumstances.” Well, “Hold on, cowboy!” I have a hard time with the use of the word, “inappropriate,” especially as it pertains to one’s own definition!

I will admit that I push boundaries. (Hey, that is how I roll!) Yet, how are we to know what is not acceptable behavior to someone else?

When we gaze into the specter of society, normality and appropriateness are relative. What is normal for me is complete looney tunes behavior for others. I, personally, think that showering is an activity that should be partaken of daily; others may think that it is not normal! Who knew?

MY INAPPROPRIATE

Similarly to how I feel about the desire to change your name and create a new persona with nicknames, I find it taxing to know what is appropriate and what is not! Here are some items for me:

• Letting your pet lick any part of my body: not appropriate.
• Bringing your child, who poops in his or her diaper, to an exam: not appropriate.
• Wearing white after Labor Day: inappropriate.
• Asking me for samples: not suitable.
• Sending me a text, after which I respond, and then not replying for hours or days: not acceptable.
• Keeping the notification “Ding” sound on your phone: not appropriate
• Using my head rest on a plane to help you stand up: Seriously, what is up with that?
• Not saying “Thank you” when you come through a door being held for you! Rude!
• Double dipping: Need I say more?
• Not putting the seat on the toilet down: How hard is that?
• Spelling my name with a “K” after you just get an email from me that clearly spells it correctly
• Playing with the equipment in the lane: Hands off!
• Chewing with your mouth open: Really?
• Not washing your hands after you go potty!

This list is by no means exhaustive! Moreover, you may be looking at my list and think, “I don’t find that inappropriate.” So, now what? Are you going to apologize to me for my feelings of inappropriateness? How do you handle the person who just labels you inappropriate?

Think about it this way: Perhaps most of the patients you find “abnormal” simply do not conform to your set of ideals.

Our respective norms should be changing. (Though some are deal breakers. I, for one, will tell you that no shower = no exam!)

DO YOU

Do you find that when in the lanes, you have to be vanilla? Should we all walk around the office with a generic white name badge and vertical stripes on the top and bottom that reads “Doctor,” follow a script and not deviate, so as not to offend?

I, for one, am going to continue to be me! My modus operandi is to be the best I can and not intentionally try to offend. Your patients come to you because they have to (insurance usually dictates — am I right?) your uniqueness keeps them coming back! OM

DR. BLOOMENSTEIN practices at Schwartz Laser Eye Center in Scottsdale, Ariz. He is a founding member of the Optometric Council on Refractive Technology. He is a speaker and advisory board member for: Akorn, Allergan, AMO, Bausch + Lomb, Lunovus, OcuSoft, Shire and TearLab. Email him at mbloomenstein@gmail.com.