Don’t let limiting beliefs have the last laugh

No, this headline is not the start of a joke; it’s my life.

To explain: During the COVID shutdown, my optometrist husband was looking for a productive use of his time, so he signed up for MasterClass.com , during which he took a few cocktail/bartending classes. At that same time, we struck up a conversation with friends from our rural community (a dentist/lawyer couple) about how people have preconceived notions of how rural life is limiting.

Our friends decided to do something about it. They opened a gift shop. But more than that, they used the space in the back of the shop to open a speakeasy that is only open on Thursday evenings for three hours. My husband and our lawyer friend are bartenders, with matching vests and cuff links on any given night. Our dentist friend is the manager/waitress, and yes, I’m a cocktail waitress on occasion.

Today, this is a cocktail lounge. Old fashioneds and lemon drops are the most popular drinks. The espresso martinis are quite popular as well. The lemon twist in the Vesper is done to perfection. Godiva chocolate garnishes the grasshoppers. Our friends created demand by limiting their hours, and last Thursday night the place was packed.

Limiting beliefs

A “limiting belief,” such as, “it’s ridiculous to open a speakeasy in rural North Dakota,” is a thought or state of mind that restricts you. These beliefs, often false, can be about yourself, how the world works, ideas, or how you interact with people. Have limiting beliefs ever stopped you?

This summer, I’ve been surrounded by them: A 60-something said he couldn’t possibly consider buying a gorgeous living space because of the steps. Housing additions can’t be built because no one wants to live in our rural community. Investment in a rural North Dakota business would be a waste of money on a failed venture. Another optometric practice closed because no one wanted to move to rural North Dakota. (My opinion: Optometry does not have a number problem — it has a distribution issue. But that’s a separate discussion.)

The most common one I notice is people being old before their time. For example, a woman told me she was too old to have cataract surgery. She was 75.

Doubling down

We now service the entire northeastern corner of North Dakota, as two offices near us closed their doors. It’s made us double down on the future. Each year for several years, we’ve hired a college student who is interested in optometry as a summer intern. Do we always need extra help? No. But it introduces someone to optometry. Our new partner was one of those summer interns.

Refusing the limits

We have two more interns who have finished their second year of optometry school and three more applying this summer. We’ve decided to create our future instead of waiting for it to happen. We refuse to limit our future because of our own limiting beliefs.

So, while you think about that, I’d happily garnish your French 75 with an orchid if you come into Byrdie’s Lounge next Thursday night. OM

DR. CARLSON was the first woman to serve as president of the American Optometric Association. Most recently, she was a 2019 recipient of Women of Optometry’s Theia Award for Leadership. In addition to her optometric leadership, Dr. Carlson is a 2020 graduate from the University of Jamestown, with a Master of Arts in Leadership, as well as a John Maxwell-certified speaker and trainer.