reflections THE HUMAN SIDE OF OPTOMETRY
That's Entertainment
Check your own local listings for "Game Man."
BY ANDREW S. GURWOOD, O.D., F.A.A.O., PHILADELPHIA, PA.

I was standing at the front desk of the office when he checked in. As he walked into the waiting area, you could feel the charisma. He had a little attitude -- not a swagger, but a confidence, if you will. As I recall, I never tossed out the phrase "Come on down," but he took the initiative and did. He rounded the corner for the examination rooms and exclaimed in a robust announcer's voice "Heeeeeeere we go!"

Proceeding down the hall, he selected "door number two," faster than I could say "May we have our next contestant, Johnny." This bolt of lightning had come in and seated himself before we even had his insurance information. Undaunted, I walked into the room, washed up and introduced myself. It went something like this:

Be ready for anything

John: "Who is our next contestant, Don Pardo?" he said with his hand over his ear.

Me: "Hi. I'm Dr. Gurwood. I'm going to do your eye examination today. "

John: "An eye examination! And -- a new car! That's right, a Pontiac Le Mans. Four wheels, four doors, four seats, power steering, AM/FM stereo and a motor. For all your driving needs, Pontiac Le Mans."

Me: ". . . Riiiight." (By this time, John's caretaker was in stitches. However, she seemed intent on letting me blaze my own trail. So . . . a-way we went.)

Me: "Pontiac Le Mans? Why not a refrigerator?"

John: "It's a re-frig-ger-a-tor! A 25-cubic foot, side-by-side, re-frig-ger-a-tor with ice and water through the door . . . by Kenmore."

Me: "Ah. Can you remind me of how I won the re-frig-ger-a-tor?"

John: "Concentration."

Me: "Concentration? Is that still on? Who was/is the host of concentration?"

John: Hugh Downs.

Me: "Is that right? Laura! (Shouting out for a co-worker down the hall), who hosted Concentration?"

Laura: "Hugh Downs."

Me: "Who hosted The Price Is Right," I asked him.

John: "Bob Barker."

My eyebrow went up (Spock-like, even).

Me: "Too easy -- don't get cocky. Who hosted The Newlywed Game?"

John: "Bob Eubanks."

Me: "You gotta be kiddin' me." Maybe it was a Bob thing.

Me: " Peter Marshall."

John: "Hollywood Squares."

Me: "Trabeck."

John: "Jeopardy."

Me: (I'm sure you've all heard of Rain Man; well, I had found Game Man.) "Wink, Monty, Pat, Dick."

John: "Let's Make A Deal, Wheel of Fortune, Pyramid."

Me: "Gotcha! You didn't name Wink's show."

John: "Which one do you want? There was Gambit, Tic Tac Dough, High Rollers . . . ."

Me: "Everybody! Get in here! Name a game show and then give this artist room!"

He didn't miss a show or a host. For his talent, we awarded him . . . a new car! Well, actually it was a new spectacle prescription -- I just wanted to say, a new car! 

DO YOU HAVE A MEMORABLE EXPERIENCE YOU'D LIKE TO SHARE? DISCUSS YOUR STORY WITH RENÉ LUTHE, SENIOR ASSOCIATE EDITOR OF OPTOMETRIC MANAGEMENT, AT (215) 643-8132 OR LUTHER@BOUCHER1.COM. OM OFFERS AN HONORARIUM FOR PUBLISHED SUBMISSIONS.